TOS205 Sacrificial Love in Marriage – Made in the Image of God

Inspired by the Lord, Truth of the Spirit gives examples of Sacrificial Love in Marriage-Made in the Image of God by a couple who have been married for over 50 years. Patti Brunner and her husband have been married since 1969. For video and audio links or to read the script, please continue reading.

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It is clear in the Book of Genesis that we are made in God’s image. I have heard it said that God created us to reveal his own love. This love is made vibrant through the marriage of a man and woman and God’s love is exemplified in the birth of children as we enter into God’s creative power. Another facet of God’s love for us is the sending of Jesus to suffer and die for us to bring us salvation. Today’s episode will explore how we can enter into and reveal God’s sacrificial love for us.

Welcome to Truth of the Spirit. Recently the Lord instructed my husband and me something to share with our parish[i] and with you that uses our own experiences of sacrificial love. I am your host Patti Brunner. Today’s episode is Sacrificial Love in Marriage –Made in the Image of God.

During the Paschal Mystery we are made aware of the sacrificial love that Christ has for us, indeed for the whole world for all time. As we look more closely at the Agony in the Garden, the Scourging at the Pillar, and the Way of the Cross we see how much Jesus was willing to do because he loves us so much. We also call these to mind each time we pray the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary. During Lent each year we choose to suffer in little ways to align ourselves with Christ in offering our sacrifices for the atonement of sin and to enter into the Presence of God by reinforcing our faith.

As we prepared for this talk the Lord told me, “My child each person has opportunities and failures. With the power and grace of God—all things are possible—including couples who have Golden Wedding Anniversaries!

The Lord said, “In the imperfections of life, I Am. I bring the kingdom into those moments to reveal love, my love, my sacrificial love. It tests the will and purifies the heart towards the image of God. Sacrificial love is also brought forward through family: Being a servant—in working and homemaking to provide for others in selfless acts, setting aside selfish needs and unselfish ones. What glorious training within the Kingdom of God! What clear reflections of the Savior!” The Lord told me: “This is why Satan hates families and marriages, and why he promotes pleasure and selfishness and “me, me, me” lives. Only in the midst of sacrificial love can true joy be found.” The Lord said, “I give you those moments of unconditional love. They are moments of the Kingdom of Heaven breaking through to encourage you on this journey of preparation for eternal life.

“Forgiveness is part of sacrificial love, too. In marriages you get the chance, often, to learn and practice forgiveness. Praise God for this opportunity. From the beginning,” the Lord says, “I created you in my image. Family reveals Me to the world especially the unconditional love within the family.”

The Lord told me, “I am the bridegroom. I lay down my life for you. In this marriage covenant that offers salvation I give myself totally for your benefit, and you, my Church, my Bride, how it pleases me when you also give yourself totally to Me.”

My husband and I got married young after being high school sweethearts and we began our family right away. This began the first round of sacrificial love—my husband worked full time while remaining a full time student. But we were in love and lived on love rather than money. Then I went to work full time so that he could finish school.

As we moved away from our hometown it was another sacrifice to leave family and friends to start a new career. My husband had a traveling job which was difficult for us. Our daughter slept outside our bedroom door because she thought he was leaving for work before she got up. As soon as possible, Rick took our small family with him. To this day our daughter loves to travel and eat in restaurants! Work has always been an opportunity for my husband to sacrifice for our family. He still wakes up dreaming about it, even though he has been retired since 2009.

With God all things are possible—even staying married for over 50 years. When God put us together it was His plan to help us to become who He created us to be. I think it was so we would always have something to confess in Reconciliation! As individuals we are self-centered. When we enter into marriage and family we have to put that aside. It is impossible without love.

There was a time when we were much younger, when most of our close friends got divorced after we moved away from them. I asked the Lord why or how this could happen. He told me, “Love is blind and hate is blind.” The couples who got divorced were the same people who fell in love and got married, yet through love they were blinded to each other’s faults. When the romantic love faded because of time and circumstance they began to see each other’s true self. Instead of choosing to love sacrificially they began to resent and then hate. The couples didn’t change—only their perspective. They failed to remember all the reasons they fell in love in the first place. The Sacrament of Marriage is great because we receive the grace to weather those days that we recognize each other’s flaws.

The Lord truly has blessed us by our Catholic faith. He prospered us with Catholic friends who understood the covenant of marriage. They encouraged us to attend Marriage Encounter. We had been married for around 25 years. It was there, that for the first time, my husband realized that God was a part of our marriage. This led us to a rich spiritual journey. Our realization that God is a part of our physical relationship was reinforced as we studied “Christ Among Us” in a small group with other couples and then “Theology of the Body”.

Throughout our marriage I have become aware that men and women are so different! And we, as individuals, are also very different. Yet our love for the Lord has filled in the gaps. With sacrificial love you realize that marriage is not 50-50 but 100-100. And we fall short—constantly some days! But God fills the gap, teaching us how to love and loving us unconditionally even when we appear to be unlovable to those around us.

The Lord allowed us to have several hardships in our marriage that caused us to have role reversals so that we could “walk in each other’s shoes” for a little while and provide for the needs of each other. When I was pregnant with our last daughter I had morning sickness all day for 9 months. My husband took over shopping and cooking. Another time I broke my foot and again my husband took over the house.

When the Doctor told me that Rick had heart failure and to avoid all stress, I stood in the gap. The doctor told me he might live only 6 months without a heart transplant. There was a lot of stress for me as Rick left work and only had the energy to sit on the back porch. While he was weak, I mowed the yard. He was home all the time. But sacrificial love held us up and I turned to everyone we knew and strangers, too, to pray for him. God’s grace brought him a slow healing. It was grace that helped us survive being together ALL the time for the first time in our marriage. It was kind of like during COVID except we could leave the house.

Covid isolation gave us an opportunity to strengthen our prayer time together. The family is called the Domestic Church. We certainly were! It was a sacrifice to be apart from our family. Leading into the season of Covid Rick’s immune system was jeopardized because of medication for a skin allergy and so we had to keep our distance from everyone except each other.

There were many opportunities to struggle during Covid. We offered them up for our family and each other. We were already retired so we didn’t take a financial hit. We chose to give our Covid stipends to those who were struggling financially. That small sacrifice of love was easy for us. Early in our marriage we realized that tithing was part of our sacrificial love. I know that decision improved our marriage, our spiritual life, and our financial well-being. Our struggles came in different ways.

I was used to being alone—I am an introvert that recharges by solitude. And my husband likes politics and sports. He had no one to talk to about his favorite subjects! But we came together in the Lord, watching the Mass live from Lourdes, France, and bringing icons of Jesus and Mary into our living room to share our space with us as we prayed for others.

In our many years of marriage the Lord, through wisdom, taught us that we are not perfect reflections of his image. And so he gave us a family to rub us the wrong way so that our rough edges can be smoothed and polished. We are diamonds in the rough sometimes, and marriage can seem like we are placed between a rock and a hard place. That’s when we thank the Lord! He uses that to transform us and polish us to reflect His image so that when we look into the eyes of each other—we see the image of God.

During Lent we offer up things to prepare for Easter. During marriage we can offer up a hundred little things each day as we do little courtesies for one another like saving the last piece of bacon or leaving the lid up or down; letting them have the last word or control of the remote, getting up early to start the coffee or ironing a shirt. These are little sacrifices of self that are done in love. They are usually unnoticed but they give glory to God as He notices them. And they teach us to love unconditionally without personal reward and to prepare to love others in this same way and thus imitate Christ.

For Lent this year we studied Luisa Piccarreta’s “24 Hours of the Passion of Christ”. Her journal of her communications with Christ reminds us that each and every pain and sorrow that Jesus suffered during his passion was done out of love for us. Luisa is helping us both to comprehend sacrificial love with new depth.

We invite you to consider all the things you do throughout your day that are little sacrifices for you. Some of you may have big sacrifices you make each day. As you offer your sufferings to the Father, you are imitating Jesus, our Lord. And in this we can grow in our awareness of the truth of sacrificial love and deepen our relationship with Him and with those around us as we love as Jesus loves!

You’ve been listening to Truth of the Spirit and Sacrificial Love in Marriage – Made in the Image of God. We invite you to listen to our episodes on the Paschal Mystery and on the Stations of the Cross. I’ll put the links in the description. Use these to consider your own sacrificial love. You can read the script of this episode at PatriarchMinistries.com/205. Then come back for more. With the Holy Spirit there’s always more! Amen.

Patriarch Ministries

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TOS205 Sacrificial Love in Marriage – Made in the Image of God