TOS003 Letting Go of Internal Chaos

TOS003 Letting Go of Internal Chaos ; for Audio

Third of the series “Working Through the World’s Chaos to Find Supernatural Peace”.  Internal Chaos is like a hiker on a rough path on the trail.  You know that when you get past the rough part you will find the splendid view.  Life has rough spots, too.  Did you ever consider that these rough parts could actually lead you to something way above average?  God gives us the grace we need to climb over or the patience to work around hardship to get to our destination. As you desire to be happy do you need to let go of yesterday’s pain, mistakes and regrets?  How can a fruitful encounter with God be the answer? 

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Internal chaos blocks our ability to recognize what the Lord has already done.  Sitting down and making a list of the joys God has given us can give us a chance to reflect on something positive.  According to your frame of mind, at first it may be hard to find anything positive.  Chaos causes us to focus on the negatives.  There was a silly song by Buck Owens and Roy Clark sung regularly on the show “Hee Haw” (1969 -1992) that  comes to my mind sometimes when I am around negative people.  “Gloom, despair, and agony on me.   Deep, dark depression, excessive misery.  If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.  Gloom, despair, and agony on me.”  Silly isn’t it!  I find that a little humor can break the cycle of negativity instead of agreeing with it and continuing it.

Luke 11: 34-36 has a scripture that can help us:  “The lamp of the body is your eye. When your eye is sound, then your whole body is filled with light, but when it is bad, then your body is in darkness.” NAB   He is letting us know that how you see things affects your attitude.  Instead of the word ‘eye’, try using the word ‘attitude’ in this scripture from Luke.  “The lamp of the body is your attitude. When your attitude is sound, then your whole body is filled with light, but when attitude is bad, then your body is in darkness.  Take care, then, that the light in you not become darkness.”  Sometimes, it is easy to get caught up in gloom and despair. But listing those joys can bring us up out of the pit.  When you see what the Lord has done for you –know that He does not change.

In the Old Testament He revealed his name to us:  I Am that I Am.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 207 tells us that God, who reveals his name as “I AM”, reveals himself as the God who is always there, present to his people in order to save them.  #211: “The divine name, “I Am” or “He Is”, expresses God’s faithfulness: despite the faithlessness of men’s sin and the punishment it deserves, God keeps “steadfast love””

Whenever you call His name, whenever you reach out to Him the great I Am is with you—with all the fullness of the realm of heaven by His side.  And all that he gives you is truly given.  You forget you are his dearest child when you feel alone and isolated.  You are never truly alone.  The angels and saints root for you.  Maybe you have not heard the ‘pep squad’ but they urge you onward to finish the race.

In the bible Hebrews Chapter 12 tells us: “since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us 2 while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith.” NAB

Let’s get back to discussing today.  ‘Today’ is the eternal moment.  ‘God is’ today.  Fear not tomorrow, regret not yesterday; this is the day the Lord has made; rejoice and be glad in it. 

‘Today’ is full of many important pulls of focus.  Each second of each moment reveals a need. 

But you need to know that daily your spirit cries out for nourishment just as the rest of the body seeks its own needs to be met.  The needs of the people around us also want us to nourish them—to share what we have been given, freely, and to provide according to our occupation and vocation.  Yet—does the tail wag the dog or does a dog wag his tail?  When you take a day apart by seconds and minutes—to whom does the time belong to?  Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad of it.” NAB

Each day is given as an opportunity of a clean slate.  No matter what worries or fears or anxieties rest in yesterday, today is clothed in hope.  Our first order of business, perhaps, is to let go of the worries, fears and anxieties of yesterday.  “Letting go of yesterday’s pain, mistakes and regrets”  that certainly sounds like an opportunity for inner healing.   What is inner healing but a way to approach memories that are painful for a number of reasons. 

I have given a lot of talks and workshops on Inner Healing and have prayed for many people whose current physical problems were based on the stress of hurts of the past.   Usually someone who is supposed to be the encourager inflicts the most damage in children.  I found that issues from “yesterday” can cause barriers to healing.

What barriers?  Many times, if we have been harmed by someone, the memory of the pain builds up a barrier to protect us from trusting again.  Or we may harbor resentment against someone.  One of the strongest barriers is unforgiveness.  It’s as if the act against us is double edged.  We have the pain of the act and loss of trust, but then we continue to be harmed by cutting ourselves off from God’s fullness by refusing to forgive.  Think about that.  Who does anger and unforgiveness really harm? 

Sin can be a barrier to healing.  If you take a coal from a roaring fire and separate it from the rest, it will quickly become covered with ash and the flame will cease  as we choose to separate ourselves from God through our freewill and choice of sin, the light of Christ within us is coated over with an ash of selfishness and fear.

So how do we let go of these things?  How to we let go of “Internal Chaos”?  How do we find God in our darkness?  In our night?  When the moon rises and the sun sets in the sky it is quite apparent that night is upon you.  What else is a clue?  You can see the stars.   With joy the Lord lights up the night in the northern, southern, western and eastern skies as far as the eye can see and beyond.  When you are in the throes of personal darkness know that then, too, God does not abandon you to darkness but always has provision for you. 

Do the storm clouds hide these night lights?  Yes, but hidden only from view just as the sun is hidden from view until the next sunrise.  Come to the Lord, He will blow away even the clouds from your hope and desire of peace and salvation.  You are not alone.  You are never abandoned. 

Psalm 23 reminds us:   “Even though I walk through the darkest valley I fear no evil; for you are with me.” NAB

Let’s talk about   Letting go of yesterday’s pain, mistakes and regrets.

All children make mistakes.  It is a part of a learning process.  Learning by failures from time to time also brings more appreciation when things are done correctly and for proper motive.  Success at large and small things brings satisfaction of a job well done or an accomplishment achieved.  The problem lies with having regret for mistakes made. 

When a mistake is sinful, and we repent, repentance allows not only for sorrow in doing some action or failure to take action  but repentance then causes a desire to shift your choices to avoid similar mistakes. 

Repentance and regret seem to be the same but the major difference is that with regret there is no change made to behavior to avoid similar mistakes.   Regret only poisons the mind through memory of the failure. 

If you regret your choice of marriage partner it is difficult to find happiness because you do not act to change your heart.   If you regret your choice of a car, each time you take it on a trip you will find fault with it. 

Regret is a strong emotion.  A mistake is much more easily overcome.  Mistakes are more easily forgiven especially when admitted.  So, Repent the wrong choices you may have made and ask the Lord to change your heart to find peace with the consequences the choice brings about. 

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians chapter 7 “10 For to be distressed in a way that God approves leads to repentance and then to salvation with no regrets; it is the world’s kind of distress that ends in death.” NJB

Jesus sacrificed his life on the cross to bring peace to those tormented by regret.  Surrender of the regret allows the healing to take place, then grace overcomes the regret and peace takes its place in your heart.  It is then that joyful anticipation will be above worry in your heart.  “Joyful anticipation” is about HOPE!   When you read the sacred Scriptures and the witnesses of the saints and holy men and women and see what the Lord has done, you can then hope that what the Lord has done for others He will also do for you.  Whether it is a need:  for healing or a family or mercy or eternal life.

Scripture shares that God does not ‘play favorites’.   St. Paul said in Romans 2: 11  “There is no partiality with God.”  NAB  What He does for one He does for all.  The Salvation of the Cross was for all mankind for all generations.  Hope reigns supreme because of this truth…as the truth is known.  When someone worries because of mistakes made, the hope of redemption of that sin– the hope of reconciliation– leads the repentant heart toward the grace of reconciliation and the truth becomes fact for the repentant heart.  To confess your sin to Jesus through His ordained priest causes a momentary worry of embarrassment but the joyful anticipation of peace through forgiveness urges the sinner to set aside the worry. 

All prayer can fall into the category of joyful anticipation even in sad situations.   When a loved one is sick and you worry about treatment and recovery, the peace that surpasses all understanding can enter the heart by communicating with God and surrendering with hope and trust.   Is everyone healed in this world?  Is every one rescued?  Reading the lives of the martyrs would seem to be a big ‘No”.    Yet in joyful anticipation of eternal peace and joy the martyrs bravely accepted their deaths and offered their pain and separation from loved ones to embrace eternity with God.

Let’s discuss  “Inner Healing—Taking out yesterday’s garbage”.  Although God created man to love one another, when sin entered the world through freewill so did the lack of loving the way God loves. 

Often, since there are flaws in people—sometimes caused by a cycle of flaws through many generations— people inflict harm on one another.  This harm then festers and if not healed quickly can form a sort of scar tissue that shuts off the pain centers around the hurt.  This can deaden the soul.  This can block the heart from loving and from being loved. 

God’s grace can penetrate even the ‘rock hard heart’ through prayer and surrender.  Like a surgeon who cuts out a tumor God can remove the accumulated Garbage by revealing Truth.  What truth?  That this person is a child of God–God’s Child.  That God’s Love is real.  That God loves them and His love does not rely on them acting loveable.   What blocks God’s grace?  –Free Will refusal.  It does not mean that God has stopped loving them!

A simple way to penetrate these wounded hearts that are full of garbage that was dumped by others is through forgiveness.  Forgiveness does not require agreement with the garbage.  It does not require acceptance of the garbage.  It only believes that Jesus took the garbage to the Cross.  Jesus offers forgiveness to the one who spread the garbage in your heart in the first place and God asks you to cooperate with Jesus in forgiveness toward them.  How wonderfully freeing it is to dump garbage out of your heart and allow God’s peace to refresh and renew.  Then the repair can take place.

Regrets can accumulate as garbage.  At our house we recycle paper and plastic garbage.  A friend of mine is working on composting food garbage into fertile soil..   Let’s recycle that regret into a witness.  Witness the negative, the conversion, the metanoia, the benefit, the blessing of others by the experience.   Like a recycling compost bin, time is needed to allow it to dissolve into something useful.   When you stir it up to expose certain elements to the light, you can stir up a ‘stink’ but exposure helps the resolution.  Rather than decay it begins to be seen as rich nutrient and life giving as it takes on the character of rebirth in the recycle process.   Ask the Lord to help you dump the garbage in your heart or to recycle it into something useful.  In Ecclesiastes Scripture reminds “There is nothing new under the Sun.”  God says in Revelation: “I take all things and make them new.”

Sometimes Inner Healing is necessary because we have had a great loss in our lives.  There is nothing that brings home the reality of life and death like the death of a close family member or friend.  Grief is an emotion that soothes the heart as loss is experienced.  It allows recall of the life of a beloved.  In the natural, when you lose something valuable you search for it until it is found—and you call your neighbors in to celebrate the finding.  In the loss of a person you call your neighbors in to mourn the loss with you.  Sharing your grief with others and receiving their comfort contributes to inner healing, as does the recognition, the acknowledgement, of finding your beloved in heaven,  where there is eternal bliss, this can lessen the pain of separation—the knowledge that you will be together again, and prayers for your beloved gives aid, spiritual aid. 

            “Lift your heart to the throne of God!  Come rest upon his lap and be at peace. Sorrowful times require periods of grieving.  Then the healing can take place.  First tears are used to wash the wound of all debris.  The Father touches the wound and gives comfort and time.  Time provides the healing ointment of grace to penetrate.”

Usually when a person cannot seem to heal after a large amount of time the grieving person] has regret or attachment.  Where do you place your trust?  In God? Or in your beloved?  By grace, transfer your dependence to God and you will have the strength to be comforted not just by your neighbors but by God.  Isaiah 25 1    says:   “The Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces” NAB

We can let go of internal chaos by having a fruitful encounter with God.

People have learned about the 7 sacraments in their catechism classes but have forgotten that the sacrament’s outward sign is an opportunity of an inner encounter with the Living God.  When there is inner chaos there is a lacking in the encounter on their part.  God is certainly not the one who has limited his graces.

As we look back, even in our own lifetimes, God has given the world special opportunities for grace.   The Year of Mercy during 2016, The Years of Preparation for the Great Jubilee, The Year of the Great Jubilee in 2000 each saw an outpouring of tremendous graces to bring healing to His people but if people do not stand near the ‘waterfall’ they cannot get wet.

What do we need to do?  Ask.  The smallest request for God’s Presence will provide permission of your freewill for Him to enter.  Each sacrament is designed to pour out tremendous graces on those who ask by stepping forward to receive.  Woundedness, unforgiveness, anger, disobedience each limit God’s grace—even to the point of no benefit.  The heart most closed is the lukewarm heart who only goes through the motions of receiving the sacraments ‘for show’.  One of the main reasons that marriages are in trouble today is that   the Sacrament of Marriage has been given to people in the state of sin with unrepentant hearts. 

Holy Eucharist is meant to be the most intimate of all the encounters with God on earth; to become one with the Living God.  Have we as his Bride taken other lovers and thus brings filth to receive His precious gift.  What other lovers?  What distracts you?  What sinful barriers are like a contraceptive to our union with God?  Are you full of judgment against others?

How many of His children avoid the fruitful encounter of Reconciliation?  How many make it a ‘quickie encounter’ of a rote list of sins repeated each year instead of truly opening their hearts to be vulnerable with Him.   Cannot you see how He longs to forgive you and take your repentance and cleanse you with His grace to purify your heart that He might be one with you without any reserve? 

Only His encounter with you in Baptism allows light to come to darkness and dissipates it—but the grace, if it is cast aside for sin or forgotten by not allowing the metanoia to take place becomes an encounter of sorrow rather than the glory that is intended.  God’s presence is available.  Come to Him and bear the fruit of His grace.  Have a fruitful encounter with God.  A fruitful encounter with God can be a positive life changing moment.

What life changing events have brought Chaos into your life?   Certainly the answers could include death, a move, a job change or loss.  These are major moments in the lives of many of you listeners.  But answer me this, has sin ever been a life changing moment in your life?   Has the sin of others—perhaps abuse or coercion to sin changed everything and stolen your peace?  Have you done something yourself perhaps an abortion, stealing from others, used illegal drugs that caused your life to spiral out of control?  How do you overcome that chaos? 

With the sacrament of reconciliation comes the grace for healing to take place and peace to overcome Chaos.  When others have harmed you, the only way to overcome the chaos is through forgiveness. 

My suggestion to you is this:  In the sacrament of reconciliation share your witness of both the cause of the chaos and how it has affected you.  This witness of truth will set you free.  When you agree to forgive those who have ‘sinned against you’ you bind your chaos to the cross of Jesus.  Jesus forgave us and all who nailed him there.  In this forgiveness he did not accept the sins of others—that is he did not ‘tolerate’ their sins through compassion.  No, in mercy he took their punishment.  In love He forgave them – and wants us, as he told the adulterer, to go and sin no more.

Repent doesn’t just mean to have sorrow for your action.  To repent also means to change.  The witness of repentance is also a life changing action.  “Metanoia” is a Greek word for this life change.  It is a reversal of a life of sin and unforgiveness to a life of mercy and love.  In another podcast I will share some helpful tools to help you to overcome unforgiveness.  But for now, please know that internal chaos is rooted in accepting and giving forgiveness.

Sometimes people, who are open to the Lord’s love, have a moment that they know that they know that God loves them.  I pray for you, dear listeners that you will have this awareness.  My husband had a moment like this and he was instantly healed of a lifelong depression.  I had a moment like this and I felt I had transitioned from a black and white world into a Technicolor world.  I’ll share details about these in the weeks and months to come.

So what about the chaos:  from moving, from job loss, from death?  The Lord says, ‘Trust Me!”  He is with you.  He will change your tears to laughter  He will never forget you.  As I said in my last show “Trust is key”.  And the key of trust unlock supernatural peace that surpasses all understanding!  Remember that the peace that surpasses all understanding cannot be formed “logically” just as love cannot be taught like reading and writing.  The fruits of the love can be explained and the works of mercy can be assigned but you cannot assign people to love.  Love can grow, it can be nurtured, it can be quenched, but it cannot be replaced on a shelf.  Love is a gift from God—it is the participation in the depth of God.  And it is this participation in the depth of God that brings the peace that surpasses all understanding.

We can have mountain top experiences with God.  Moses spent time with God on the mountain as did Elijah–physically and spiritually. On the Mountain of Sinai God gave Moses the 10 Commandments.  Elijah listened upon the mountain for the whisper of God. Today’s mountain top does not require us to go to Colorado or Mount Helen, what it does require is ‘getting above the complacent and ordinary routine of your lives’. 

Seeking the Lord when you are in a desperate need is a way to find Him, but the worries of the day can be quite distracting.  To sit and listen—whether it is to the quiet whisper or the booming thunderous presence of God– To sit and listen is required to meet with God on the mountaintop.         

The voice of God is also made present through events—Abraham’s willingness to be obedient in the sacrifice of his son; the sacrifice and covenant offered with Elijah, the burning of the commandments by the finger of God to Moses, the call of Paul, and so forth. 

How can you find your mountain to be with the lord?  He will bring it to you if you seek him with all your heart.   The mountain of Horeb in the Old Testament was considered to follow the people of God and foreshadowed the rock of Jesus—the Church.  In your local church, go sit in front of the tabernacle—even better, attend an hour of adoration before the Blessed Sacrament and the mountain top will be yours. 

Many people have a unique experience with God in the midst of a retreat.  This happened to both my husband and me.  Emptying out the busyness of your life and dedicating a day or a weekend to seek the Lord is a great way for your eyes and ears to be opened to find him.  Trust me, He’s not the one who is lost.  In fact, He is always at your side. 

One time a priest commented, “You say you are leaving your mountain-top experience to re-enter the real world, but what you need to understand is that this is the real life.  The things you left behind to be here are the imitation.”

            Whether or not you are Catholic, whether or not you believe in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, come sit before a tabernacle in a Catholic Church.  In the bible God made his presence known in the Holy of Holies.  The Ark of the Covenant was housed in the tabernacle, the tent, that travelled through the desert with Moses and the People of God.  Come let Him make himself known to you, personally.  He will help you to empty out the internal chaos within your heart and mind.  He will lead you to freedom like he led the people of God to the Promised Land, and He will give you supernatural peace.

Pope Saint Leo the Great once said, “The peace of the spiritual-minded and of Catholics comes from on high and itself leads to the heights. It refuses to hold communion with the lovers of this world. For “where your treasure is, there is your heart also”: that is to say: if what you love is here below you will descend to the depths; but if your love is above, you will attain to the heavenly summits.”

The last point I want to make today is that The Hike to the Top Through a Rough Path is Part of the Grace Given.  If we can grasp this final concept on obtaining supernatural peace and overcoming the Chaos of the World, we will find the pearl of great price for which we have sought.  We will finally see with the eyes of faith—no easy task no matter how simple the journey could be.  The Hike to the Top Through a Rough Path is Part of the Grace Given.  When a person takes a hike to the top, it helps to travel a trail that has been laid out by design according to the ‘lay of the land’.  When the path is well used it is more clearly followed thus avoiding going the wrong way.  Sometimes there are many trails that can be taken.  What kind of adventure would you choose?  On occasion I have taken the difficult side trails to witness the beauty not otherwise available.  What views call you to take the more challenging trail? 

This is sort of the way of life for some.  On the outside it appears to be too difficult a life to find any kind of peace or joy.  Ask a parent of a disabled child or one with cancer if they have moments of peace or joy. They do! They have a clearer eyesight into the moments of life.

Our topic, if you remember, is “Letting go of Internal Chaos”.  Internal Chaos is like a rough path on the trail.  You know that when you get past the rough part you will find the splendid view.  Life has rough spots, too.  Did you ever consider that these rough parts could actually lead you to something way above average?  God gives us the grace we need to climb over or the patience to work around hardship to get to our destination—short-term and eternal.

“Lead us not into temptation” might be paraphrased ‘Lord, let me not have any rough paths’.  What we must realize is that our God is with us in good times and bad, when life is easy and even more so when it is hard.  His grace is sufficient.  But remember, sometimes going through the rough paths with God’s graces take us to see something we would have missed on the ‘easy’ trail.  And our experience opens our eyes to discover we need God’s help.  We discover God loves us and will not abandon nor leave us.

How do we accept God’s grace, his help?  The answer should be familiar to you if you listened to this series.

The sources of evil in the world constantly combat to turn you aside from the duties and joys of the Lord.  Look not upon the negative but always have hope in your eyes, for then in comparison, you will see how the Lord’s will overcomes to bring forth His will even as ‘bad’ times seem to explode.

When there is doubt—find a way to trust the Lord in some way.  Soon the doubt vanishes and Trust will strengthen within you.  When there is turmoil—find something that is peaceful in your life or in the world and look to it for comfort.  In the peace you will know God’s presence and your heart will know peace.  When you fear, look for courage in small matters.  When you worry—know that God has been taking care of you and rely on this.  When you want to deny His love—stop and read His Word and know that it is truth and light and that it dispels all despair if you will only take a small step towards Him.  For it is then that He takes you up on eagle’s wings.                     

Amen.

This concludes this series on “Working Through the World’s Chaos to Find Supernatural Peace”. 

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